Bully!

Let’s face it… we were bullied at some point in our young lives!!! WE might have been unaware of it especially since we were so distraught over the emotional pain and the dread that the next day it can happen all over again…

I don’t think bullying will ever be erased from the face of the planet. If it happened back then and continues until now, it will be one of those things that will exist for many more years. It happens everywhere… in playgrounds, in schools, in neighborhoods and even in the home. And it doesn’t matter whether it takes place in the humblest reclamation areas or in the poshest villages, if  you’re the victim of a bully you either suffer in silence or you fight back!

Back then, bullying was far more benign than it is now… It was between the bully and the victim and the parents only intervened when they were called by the guidance counselors. Very often, bullying was considered a rite of passage: the victim better wise-up in dealing with the bully so he can overturn how he is treated or he’ll never learn to cope with the assault. It can range from name-calling, hiding personal stuff, or setting up the victim to be a fall-guy for a prank. There was no gun-toting parent barging in to threaten a minor’s life. At worst, parents resorted to shouting their lungs out to prove their child’s “innocence”.

The recent incident on bullying in a prestigious Catholic school hit the headlines when the victim suffered the humiliation of getting suspended instead of the bully. The sad part is, a bully will often work with one or two people as accomplices. Sometimes they get caught, very often they go scot-free. And when an irate parent points a gun at the victim of bullying instead of castigating his own son who happens to be the bully, you tend to question the adult’s judgement. Did nobody teach him anything while he was growing up? Was he treated so badly in his youth that he taught his child to be tough on others? In this case it’s the sins of the father carried forward.

I just want to be clear on something. I AM NOT JUDGING ANYBODY.  This article isn’t meant to point an accusing finger on anyone. It just so happens, I know the family of the victim. They’re the nicest people anyone could ever meet. And the fact that I, too, was bullied even until college. I merely want to relate how I settled the score. Who knows, I might ignite a spark of ingenuity in the victims…

During my collegiate years, there were three guys who kept bugging me about my sexuality. They would have a hey-day trying to out me in public places like the college quadrangle or the gym (two were actually on the swim team). They would poke fun at me and call me names. They would snicker after I passed by.  Then a funny thing happened… I FOUGHT BACK!

You can’t blame me… I was just seething with hatred and I had no one to turn to. I just wanted the bullying to stop. Period! One afternoon many years ago the bullies were teasing me while I was seated at a bench in my school’s drop-off point. They were calling me names and laughing to ridicule me. In the loudest voice that I could muster for everyone to hear I shouted… “Kung hindi ko pa alam. May lihim ka ring tinatago…” ( as if I didn’t know. You have your own secrets to hide)… I swear, I was never bothered again…

As it turns out, after college I would bump into batch mates and friends and they would tell me stories about how the others fared in life. True enough, two of the bullies came out in their thirties. One of them even contracted HIV and was disowned by his family. He has since passed on to meet his Maker…

That’s poetic justice!